The Night Caller

Queer Eye for the Straight Guy isn’t a documentary. Not everyone who sucks cock has an eye for design. I just happen to.” Matt brought the plates and flatware out to the living room since David had taken up residence on the couch.

Even David’s second-hand couch appeared more polished. Maybe it was the lack of dust and stains. Matt took a seat next to David and tucked into his breakfast. “Some people might take offense to that stereotype.”

“Do you? Take offense, I mean.” David took a bite of his breakfast. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d actually eaten a proper one.

It took a moment for Matt to answer as he weighed his options on how honest to be. “Sometimes.”

“Why?” David speared some bacon with his eggs, reveling in the salty goodness. He could get used to this.

After a few contemplative bites, Matt said, “I guess because it’s too on the mark. I realize that stereotypes are built from a certain commonality of shared traits. I’m gay, I’m an artist, I like things neat and tend to enjoy fashion and be a bit—” Matt waved his fork in the air in a dramatic circle.

“A bit?” David gave him a saucy grin as his eyes followed the exaggerated gesture.

Matt jabbed David in the side with his elbow.

“Oof!” David rubbed his side and grinned. “I see what you’re saying. But you know, with how you cook, you could make someone a good wife someday.”

Grabbing a pillow, Matt smacked David on the head. “You need to quit while you’re ahead! And . . . Well, bacon and eggs aren’t exactly complicated. I’m just self-sufficient, not a chef. You’re living a bit of a stereotype too, David. Look at your frat-boy lifestyle. It’s like you’re desperate to pull off this straight man vibe.”

“I am a straight man.” David finished his breakfast and set the plate on the coffee table.

Matt sighed. “Right.” He stabbed noisily at the eggs, trying to vent his frustration into the food.

Whisper in my ear

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