Sometimes I get nostalgic for fandom. Over the weekend, there was a Harry Potter convention in Orlando. I’ve never gone to any Potter conventions. Conventions, in general, are counter intuitive to me. Usually I have to be paid to make myself available to throngs of people, not the other way around.
Even though it is theoretically a convergence of people who have the same interests as me, being social on demand is difficult. Especially in person. Frankly, I find it a miracle I even get through a 40-50 hour work week without busting a cap in someone’s ass. Sharing a room at a convention? Feggetaboutit.
But really, conventions are a small part of fandom. And in spite of my curmudgeonly attitude about being social, I do miss the social aspects of sharing my stories. I miss having people quote back parts of my work they found hilarious or scary or whatever. I miss the world and the characters (though arguably, Draco’s never left.)
There were a lot of reasons around pulling away from fandom and not many of them have changed. I see an LJ post by an old friend and recognize the names responding. It makes me a little sad to have lost touch, but then, I also feel like I needed to move on.
This isn’t to say that some of the same issues that haunted fandom don’t haunt the professional world. If anything, some of these darker aspects are heightened because now there’s money involved. But there are also a lot of professionals who don’t make everything personal, who keep that distance, and can agree to disagree.
As much as I’d love to write more fandom work, I’ve gotten myself so obligated professionally, it would have to be pretty short and sweet. I’m hoping the new season of “Merlin” will shake something loose. I keep getting notices from FF.net that people are discovering those shorts I posted and it makes me smile. But we’ll see.
How about you? Did you come to writing from somewhere else and get homesick?
